When I was younger, I had a naïve idea of freedom:
“I am free when I get what I want.”
I believed freedom meant no restrictions, no discomfort, no disappointment. But the moment something went wrong—a bad grade, an argument, someone misunderstanding me—my so-called freedom collapsed immediately.
That’s not freedom.
That’s dependence.
The book Why Doesn’t My Teenager Talk to Me? reminds us that youth is a time when emotions dominate the mind.
When things go well, we feel invincible.
When things go poorly, we feel crushed.
But true freedom isn’t lifted or destroyed by circumstances.
True freedom happens inside.
If your emotions dictate your actions, then your emotions are your master.
If impulses govern your identity, then you are chained.
Real freedom begins when you separate:
Who I am
vs.
What I feel in this moment.
That realization changed everything for me.
My worth wasn’t tied to my mood.
My identity wasn’t tied to my impulses.
My future wasn’t determined by a single emotional low.
The book explains that teenagers often withdraw or rebel because they can’t yet express the chaos within them. They don’t have the vocabulary for their inner storms, so they express it through silence, avoidance, or anger.
But underneath all of that is a universal truth:
Every young person wants understanding, not control.
And that includes understanding from ourselves.
To be free is not to eliminate turmoil.
To be free is to stay yourself through the turmoil.
Freedom is the quiet strength of saying:
“Even if everything collapses around me, I won’t collapse inside.”
This is the freedom I’m learning to choose.
Not freedom from challenges—
but freedom from being owned by them.