For years, my home life shaped my emotional world. When my parents fought, I felt responsible. I wasn’t in the argument, but I felt like I was suffering the impact of every word. Even when things were peaceful, I carried a background fear that conflict would return.
But change came from two directions at once. I discovered philosophy, and my parents discovered Bowen Family Systems Theory. Both ideas taught us something similar: families don’t heal when we try to change each other—they heal when we each take responsibility for ourselves.
My parents learned to regulate their emotions, and I learned not to let my identity collapse under theirs. Slowly, our home became less chaotic, not because problems vanished, but because we each learned how not to let our stress spill onto each other.
The most meaningful part is seeing how our story helped other families in our church. Through my parents’ testimony, other parents—friends of mine—began changing too. It felt like our healing didn’t stop with us; it spread outward.
I’m proud of that. Proud that our family’s journey didn’t end in frustration, but grew into something that could help others.