The Burden We Create Ourselves — Andy Yao

I used to think the world was the one hurting me. Every bad moment, every rude person, every inconvenience—I blamed everything outside of myself. I believed life was unfair, and somehow I was the one chosen to suffer.

But I eventually realized something uncomfortable:
The world wasn’t hurting me. I was hurting myself.

I created expectations and held onto them like laws. I wanted people to act a certain way, I wanted events to unfold in a predictable pattern, and when reality didn’t meet my blueprint, I felt wronged. I felt betrayed. But who betrayed me? The world? Or my own expectations of it?

We suffer most when we cling to the idea that things should go a certain way. We chain ourselves with our own “shoulds,” and then we wonder why we feel trapped.

The moment I saw this clearly, the burden I carried suddenly felt lighter. I didn’t need the world to change. I only needed to change the way I responded to it.

Freedom doesn’t come from controlling everything—it comes from loosening our grip on everything.